Parentified Child

What is a parentified child?

In its core essence, this is when a young child is forced to become “like a parent” in the home, because of the emotional immaturity of the parents. In this way, the roles reverse. The child starts to act in some ways like the parent & the parent starts to act like this child. The roles in this dynamic get reversed, hence the name given, parentified child. Once again, in hopes, that if she can take care of the parents needs, that finally the parent will then be able to turn around and take care of the needs of the child. Some Examples of this:

The child had to walk on egg shells around parents who were unable to self-regulate & were often emotionally (possibly physically) volatile. These parents were emotionally unpredictable & out of control. This is why the child began trying to soothe the parents emotions, as to keep the parent calm & to prevent and outburst from the parent. In essence, to protect herself from this emotionally, out of control, unpredictable, parent. 
Another example, a parent who is often sulking & in the victim mode, the child will transform to be the people pleaser of the parent, to hopefully make them ‘happy’, once again. 

The child hopes by attuning to and adjusting its behavior to take care of the unmet emotional needs of the parents, that in return, the child will finally get its own needs taken care of. For example, trying to soothe the emotions of a stressed out, frazzled adult. Or, trying to stay quiet so as to not disturb an overstimulated, frustrated parent. Or, for example, having praised their parent, to give them a lot of fawning attention to the one or both of parents, or act in other ways to prevent punishment. 

In some cases of more extreme physical abuse, taking on caretaking roles, such as taking care of a younger child’s needs. And being met with larger, more adult-like responsibilities such as putting a meal together for herself. Or putting her younger sibling to bed.